Body Language - Ann

Hello my wonderful friends!

Wow what a chapter!

Oh how our culture goes against the ways of God, and how he intends us to live purely and freely!

Oh what an example we are called to be to others, as many are not as informed as we are!

I will say that I don't think of myself as a flirtatious seductive woman, however I am sure I am guilty of turning on my "charms" to others than my husband. I definitely do not want to purposely send someone the wrong message so, I will say I will be more mindful to what I am doing when it comes to my body language after reading this chapter.

I will also be more mindful of the body language I direct towards my husband. This chapter reminded me of what a great tool body language can be to not only strengthen my marriage but it can also be used as an outward sign to those in public of what a beautiful thing marriage is!

(Being more mindful of my body language today.......as Brian was sitting on the couch with the computer that I needed to use in order to type this note, I walked into the room with a big mischievous smile, not saying anything at all.....he said "what, you need the computer?....then he handed it over.....I said wow! you read my body language! : )  ......So much can be said without saying anything at all)

I liked how Mary points out that as married women we should increase our sexually inviting body language towards our husband. God created us with this great talent and how lucky are we as married women that we have wonderful husbands to direct it towards!

This chapter was also great reminder of the power we have as women........ and with great power comes great responsibility! : )

Lord, help us to have pure hearts, minds and actions!

I hope you both have  blessed week!

Body Language - Emily

Hi ladies! Wow does this chapter fly in the face of our culture or what?! I can't help but think of all the negative influences there are in this particular area - TV, of course, but magazines, billboards, advertising, all kinds of crazy stuff teaching us to use our bodies to get our way. How it must break God's heart!!

He's created us and designed us to be beautiful women and that "charm" he's given us is for our HUSBANDS. How much more healthy would marriages be if we kept it to just that?!?! Interesting thought.

This is definitely an area where I have caused many a man to stumble in the past :-( Hurts to admit that but it's true. Now I aim to be more 'inviting' towards my husband..... body language is a huge key between us. Brushing his hand away while I'm doing the dishes tells him the dishes are more important :-( He is more important, but how am I telling him that? When we are out in public is my attention and body language directed towards him (holding hands, walking close, looking at him) or am I wandering apart from him (together but not really engaged)? Make sense? Good food for thought for me here.

I love that Mary's son points out that "Everything about a woman who loves God is different" - I want to be refreshingly different from our culture. When our hearts and lives are totally sold out to God, our husbands have a treasure at home that is far better than anything (any woman) that the world may try to throw at them.

Praying we can have pure hearts, motives and 'moves' ;-)

Appearance - Ann

to me, Hannah

Hey Ladies!

Sorry this is so late!

I do not like being behind!

I did enjoy reading this chapter as Mary has some good points and a good way of looking at modesty.

I cannot say that I have ever thought of myself as an immodest person, nor do I care to have people's attention drawn to brought to me, causing me to dress in a way that would make me the center of attention. So, I guess I do not think that I struggle in this area too much.  I can say that I sometimes abscess over clothes and would always love to have more and more! I have been working on getting rid of clothes and my Dave Ramsey budget helps me to not buy clothes as much as I used to. When it comes to make-up I will confess that I am not the girliest girl and my mom made me get make-up for my 21st B-day....Ha...I knew that once I started wearing make-up I would not want to go with-out it. And now I feel I NEED to wear make-up. I do not like to wear and excessive amount of make-up but, I do feel like I have bad skin and need to have some on to look good.....perhaps I am a bit vain in this area.
Growing up I remember having the worst time finding shorts, swim-suites and dresses that fit me properly.....that covered me up enough..... that were long enough.........according to my moms specifications, and I would get so frustrated..... I understood in a way that I did not want to be immodest and show too much skin because my mom said so.

I did not think of clothing as Mary point out in the book as"as an outward visible symbol of an inward spiritual reality. When you put on Christ, he covers your shame, and makes you what you should be."

I would say that when I am shopping I do struggle with knowing was it and is not immodest......I don't want to have clothes that are too tight, or too baggy, so I will keep Mary's guidelines in mind. "She adorns herself with respectable apparel, with modesty and self-control."

1) Is it becoming or unbecoming? (respectable)

2) Is it decent or indecent? (modest)

3) Is it moderate or excessive? (self-control)

I  will say experienced a similar experience to Mary at the Hockey game at the beginning of the chapter this past weekend. Brian and I were at an outdoor car show on Sat evening. I was blown away with how many young women were literally dressed like prostitutes. It was sad to see how many girls do not value who they truly are as a women, and were obviously seeking the wrong kind of attention, acceptance and/or affection.....: (

Well, I need to get to reading so I can post my comments for this weeks chapter!

I am so glad we are reading this together!

I am so thankful we are all friends!

I love you girls!

Lord, thank you for you many blessing especially for the wonderful friendships you have blessed us with! Continue to help us to grow and be the wise and holy women you want us to be!

Appearance - Emily

Ahh, what a refreshing read this chapter was! God in His great grace has really reshaped my thinking (and dressing) in this area of the last 6ish years. All praise to Him!

I really love how Mary draws out that our need for covering is because of our original sin and a picture of Christ covering us. And all the mental checklist questions are so great to keep in mind. I would say that all 3 of us are pretty 'safe' in this area - I can't recall much extravagance from you two.

I certainly want to be mindful of all this as I am teaching my girls about modesty and proper dress (and any other young women He might put in my path). Pointing everything back to Jesus gives it much more gravity and importance that just having to tell them "because I said so"
My wardrobe has undergone many edits thanks to heart changes (and having 2 kids). I now have a much greater respect for tasteful clothing and appearances. I would almost have to say that she kind of struck a cord when she talked about slobbish dressing being equally as 'off track'.... Not saying I'm a slob but unless I have to go somewhere I generally don't put much effort into my appearance when I'm at home. The neighbors have seen the full range of me, fresh-outta-bed-and-haven't-even-looked-in-the-mirror-yet to being all gussied up for a date night. But I'm comfortable in who I am so it doesn't bother me. Yes, more than once I've gone to WalMart and realized on the way home that I hadn't even looked in the mirror yet, hope I disn't have a huge zit on my face!
 Also in the area of makeup.... Even before Joe and I were married it was a huge area of frustration between us. He strongly dislikes colored eye shadow and flaunty make-up. I thought my face was a canvas that was fun to decorate to coordinate with my outfits so I had a wide variety of colors and such. Well his constant talk of how much he disliked it and I didn't need it won out and I gave all my color to a friend at work.... believe me, I let him know it was a big deal and that was a lot of $$ in that bag. [My friend said she would hold onto it in case I decided to want it back] Fast forward to now and I am totally THANKFUL that we went through that! I have a very simple makeup 'set' now and it works wonderfully for me. I don't have a bunch of spare time to spend primping myself for the day or event, now I can get ready in about 5min or less. Yes, this does mean I look the same all the time but it also means that more of my inner self can shine out. **In no way am I opposed to colored make up on others... just doesn't fit for me anymore.
Some of this is largely due to our current life situation of hubby working nights. I don't spend a ton of time making noise in the bathroom each morning (think blow dryer) and I can't be rummaging through my dresser drawers while he's sleeping. If I know I need something specific I set it out the night before, otherwise I have a drawer for shorts and one for tees.

Love you ladies! Hope your weeks have been blessed - ours has been busy, lots of family in town. Blessings!!

Focus - Emily

Sometimes as I read each chapter I am amazed at how much of a Wild Girl I really was, not necessarily intentionally but just out of ignorance and having little regard for His Word and Truth. (In high school and college). So my praise to Him abounds that He doesn't leave us where we are but desires to continually make us new! I can't go back and do anything about the past but I can purpose to change my current self/behavior and to be mindful of these things as our girls grow and need guidance.
Trying not to be too hard on myself this week (thanks Hannah for the verbal encouragement there). I don't have a ton of insight to share this week so I'll tell you a few things I underlined in my book.
Pg 87 she says "... Many women spend their whole lives lying in wait. They perpetually wait and watch for their next big catch hoping it will bring them the fulfillment they so desperately desire. Predators 'lie in wait' because they rely on others to satisfy their desires. They are greedy at heart." **Is Jesus enough for me? Am I resting content in Him and Him alone. I may not be 'lying in wait' for a guy anymore but it could be a house, new clothes, new shoes, whatever I think might give satisfaction. Jesus is the ONLY One who satisfies!
Pg 88-89 shares "She has a kingdom-focus instead of a me-focus....The Wise woman's life is all about enjoying God and making Him famous... In everything she does - from the way she dresses to the way she orders her day - she seeks to delight in Christ and put His beauty and excellence on display..... she focuses on building His kingdom - not on building her own... She has a profound sense of mission" **Oofta! Is He the central point in my life and day? Am I seeking to make Him famous in my attitudes and actions? People are watching me (us). Do we represent Christ and intentionally give Him the credit and glory for all things good in our lives?
I was really encouraged by the story shared of the young girl with a desire and drive to make quilts for 9-11 victims. God is so good. Though I don't really feel like it's the season for my to start anything big like that I know I have areas that I can improve on as far as putting others first and giving my day to God. My time and energies are pretty focused on loving and serving my family but if God puts someone on my heart, I certainly take the time to pray for them and generally try to reach out (via text, email, snail mail, etc) to let them know they are loved. I know God is growing me to be able to pour into and come alongside other young women, just not real sure what He'll have that look like yet. I'm open to His leading.
Love you two ladies!! Thanks for your willingness and openness to share as we read through this together. It's definitely good to be reading through this together so we can offer each other good perspective.

Focus - Hannah

Hey!!!! Can you believe it..it is Thursday night and I'm submitting my thoughts :) AND I didn't even read Ann's yet...
I thought this chapter was good -it had good reminders..after reading and analyzing I don't think I was ever too wild in this sense..I'm not going to say I didn't lie in wait and want for a guy, I did. But I recognize that the good guys came around when I was less focused on guys and more focused on God.
So, I didn't relate a ton to some of her thoughts, but just the same-- always a good reminder that life is bigger then me..God knows what He is doing..He has a plan and a purpose for me. There is a reason we are here-- God isn't done with us yet :). SO, making sure He is our focus means we will reap the rewards from that..we become closer to him and anything else we may have been lying wait over.
It was great to have lunch together this week :). I sure am blessed by you both-- in so many different ways...I love that God brought us together!! :). Hope you both have a great weekend!!
May we seek to wholeheartedly seek Him.

Focus - Anne

Hey Ladies!

As I read the first part of the chapter where Mary talks about the woman on the prowl looking to hunt and trap a man, I felt that it did not apply to me. 

My thoughts while reading it I were  that I am not at that stage in my life and even before Brian and I were married I can honestly say that I did not struggle with being a prowler or a woman who hunted and tried to trap men. I was my boring ole self, and my older brothers' friend, whom I found attractive and quite interesting, ended up thinking the same about me and the rest is history........how boring I know : )

Then, I got to the part where Mary says that the "Lying-in-wait behavior isn't restricted to getting a guy , the Wild Thing may turn her attention to getting the house, getting the furniture, getting a car, getting new clothes, getting a job, getting some kids, getting a break, getting her husband to change......get, get, get....and there we go again Mary made me stop and think!

At first it made me think of a passage in another book I am reading and the author mentions that in our current society people are largely influenced and live by the practical philosophy of Individualism where the motto is "Whats in it for me?".  The fruits of Individualism are "greed selfishness and exploitation".....yuck!

Then, of course I had to think what my focus is personally........I would say that for the most part I am not a selfish person but in the same breath I will say that I do feel I am quite selfish in my marriage....I think that I sometimes forget that I got married to give of myself and do for my husband....I do lots of things for Brian but at the same time I want him to notice and give me praise.....and I usually expect things in return...I expect him to do his part too.......I do good and loving things but at the same time I think of what I will get out of it as I'm doing it.

And I can't say "that in everything that I do from the way I dress to the way that I order my day seeks" to glorify God, but I can say that this is what I strive for! I definitely have a ways to go!

I will also say that having infertility issues all while feeling like God has called me to be a mother has been a huge struggle for me causing me to feel like a very selfish girl who is not getting her way.....having feelings at times like I do not have purpose in life.......just being caught up in my selfish ways and pitying myself.....yes, I get very down on myself......, but, as time has gone on I have been working on having a better outlook on life and God has helped me see the bigger picture and my simple purpose of just being the best person I can be in every role that I do currently play at this stage in my life. 

As Mary reminds us this week: "Don't squander your life. Don't waste your time lying in wait. Christ is too important. Time is too precious......busy yourself with your mission, trust in the Lord to take care of the rest! I would like to say a big AMEN to that! 

Thank you Lord for all you have done for me and for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me! Help me Lord to always keep my eyes focused on you, please grant me a giving and selfless heart and attitude, and help me to trust you more!

Many Blessings!