Teachability - Emily

Ok, of all the chapters this was the most encouraging read for me; in fact, I really enjoyed it. I will say that I can identify with Sally, Fran and Sue in a few ways and at certain times of my life.... BUT I am so hungry for more of Christ! 

In looking back on past experiences and just trying to get to know myself better I realized I have a hard time taking someone's critique or being told I'm doing something wrong, most likely linked to pride or insecurities. I know my husband gets frustrated that we seem to have the same 'difficult conversations' over and over without much change happening. But I am working on trying to leave the emotions aside and focus on the real issues we are dealing with or the roots of frustrations (disrespect, entitlement, blabbermouth, etc). If I allow my feeling and emotions to flare up I spend the whole 'conversation' trying to prove my right-ness and lick my emotional wounds; but if I can hold my tongue and see the bigger picture it's much easier to see and work on the offending habit/choice/words/whatever. Make sense? That was kind of a rant.
It seemed like I was attracted to the 'solutions' for each of the women described. For Simple Sally Mary says that she must eagerly study the Word. Can I get and Amen here?! Yes please! The more I read the more I want to read, the Bible is just so awesome. The only living and active book, full of new treasures for each day. I wish I could study more but there are the demands of life too. God knows my position and I feel like He honors my desire to know and can teach me in the time I have (so I can stop wishing for a 4-hour stay at a coffee shop table). For Foolish Fran she says she needs to learn to love God's ways and develop self-control. I feel like that nails me to a T. That's right where I am, wanting to know and love Him more, and to curb my flesh and allow Him to work through me more. And oh Scoffing Sue, that was me, I was her. I knew in my head right from wrong but did not care. And then, I did encounter Christ - and the dam broke, floodwaters of doing life 'by myself' flowed out (meaning I cried at lot; actually there was a season I quit wearing makeup to church because I knew I was just going to cry... looking back it was the Holy Spirit sweetly wooing me to Himself). Sadly it still took me a couple years to come around to knowing Him and wanting Him more (I still feel like I'm in the infancy of Christianity) - but boy I am I glad I came to know Jesus for real!
And I love how Mary talks about how the fear of God is the beginning of Wisdom. I do pray for wisdom often but hadn't tied it in with my fearing Him. "To fear God means to be ever aware of His all-pervasive presence, conscious of my absolute need for Him, mindful of my responsibility to follow His way, determined to obey Him, cautious of offending Him, and overwhelmed in amazement and gratitude at His incredible goodness and grace" (pg249) - Wow. And this not being a list of "works" but and total direction of our heart attitude; not something to be striven towards in my own strength but a need to fall on my knees and beg Him to change my desires and understanding.
And Mary ends the chapter talking about Wisdom. A woman in a summer small group (on Proverbs) encouraged us to take time to read Proverbs 8 and in place of the word wisdom read Jesus, and we will see that wisdom IS Jesus, Jesus IS wisdom. The closer I grow to Him the more I will grow in His wisdom.

Lord, I am so thankful for these sweet friends of mine. Thank you for this book that we've read together. Thank You that Your Word challenges us to continue to grow, not to get complacent. I praise You for who You are! Please soften our hearts to Your correction and instruction; lead us to humility, knowing that we must decrease and You must increase in us. Help us to not forget these things, but to walk forward with greater understanding.

 Amen

Sustainability - Ann

Thank you for being real Emily. You have been in my thoughts and prayers. 

I cannot say that any chapter in this book has been easy to read, as each one challenges me to think to change, to grow and improve.

I was able to peacefully read this chapter in the quiet of the forest in my tree stand as I awaited the big buck to come by .....that did not come.

As I reflected on this chapter a few things came to mind.

I can thank God for my shyness, which I used to think of as curse. I have always been called shy and to me being called shy was like being call dump and ugly. However, I think it was a blessing to me in this area. As I have mentioned before I think I am boring when it comes to my dating history, but at the same time am very thankful. As a teenager I had crushes on a few guys, but a crush cannot go far when you are too shy to talk to them. God has a plan for all of us and I prayed and waited for a guy to come along that was really worth investing my time in. He did come by, my one and only boyfriend, who later became my husband. We decided to save sex until marriage even through our 4 years of dating and we were so thankful we did. 

God has blessed me with a wonderful husband and friend and after reading this chapter I was once again reminded that I need to not take that relationship I have with my husband  for granted. I need to better at building him up, focusing on him more and being less selfish when it comes to our relationship. I need to not complain about him, or tear him down."The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down" (proverbs 14:2). 

Mary points out that "God is our Creator He knows what is best for us. We disrespect God when we reject his pattern and purpose for our lives" God does know what is best for me but sometimes I forget this and try to tell God how things should be, do things my own way instead of turning myself over to him.  I do not want to disrespect God, but I will say I am guilty of this when I do not see things going my way or try to manipulate things to go my way. Oh I am a stubborn girl sometimes.

Thank you ladies for being such good friends to me!

How are my  relationships going? I think my marriage is good, but of course it can be better and I will continue to work at it. When I think about this question in regards to friendships in general I will say I can be much better. I love getting to know people and I know I love being liked, but I struggle with keeping up with people with continuing and growing relationships. I know life gets busy, but I really feel like I can be better in reaching out to people rather then waiting for them to reach out to me. I think this chapter is challenging me to reach out to some friends i have neglected. Wow! When I stop and think about it God has blessed me with so many wonderful friends and family member. He has placed so many great people in my life and I need to better at building up those relationships.

"Encourage one another and build one another up" Thessalonians 5:11

Lord thank you for those people you have put our my lives that we can call friends. You have blessed us with so much. Help us to continue to seek you above all else, as you teach us how to grow and improve our relationships with others. May we always be respectful of others seeking to honor you in all we do.

Sustainability - Emily

Ok, this is a difficult chapter for me to digest. Because of my poor choices prior to marriage and having recently "lost" two friends due to (what I think was) communication issues, I've struggled with an overwhelming negative 'cloud' regarding this stuff. BUT Praise Jesus, He is good and He already knows everything that has happened and is yet to happen in my life - so I trust He is still interested in working His good purposes in me.

I have often wondered where material like this was back when I was so susceptible to the call of my flesh and the world. But then, would I have even listened? I didn't have a relationship with Jesus then and really no regard or respect for God's laws. I knew right from wrong in my head but the passions that guided my choices were entirely selfish. - So I certainly walked in disrespect towards God. I am grieved by those wrong choices and haunted by the statistics stacked against me because of them BUT I can praise Him all the more for Christ's sacrifice which covers each and every sin with his pure and perfect blood. I really want to give Him more and more of me each new day, to completely lose myself in Him.

And am I respectful towards others? Hmm... I'd like to think so but I imagine there are times when I am not. When I stop and think about it, I am shocked at how completely selfish I can be. It's terrible. Sure things might look nice and pretty from the outside but how often am I seeking an ulterior motive? Mary says "Women, don't forget that when you hurt your husband, you hurt yourself.... A Girl-Gone-Wise does not tear down. She is a builder, not a destroyer. She demonstrates respect." Wowzers. I'd be afraid to see my encouragement weighed out next to my criticism. Afraid it would tip in the wrong way :-(  Sadly I can be quick to critique the one whom God gave me as my best friend for now and forever, rather than seeing the bigger picture and purposefully building him up each day. And I confess even with my friends, sometimes it's so easy to get caught up in "talking" about someone, something, some issue etc. but if it isn't edifying it's better left unsaid right?! Am I bold enough to stop myself or pointedly redirect a conversation? Phil 4:8 comes to mind here "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, think (talk) about such things.

I can honestly say that I think I need a good dose of work in this area. Being willing to reach out, listen and connect with those who matter to me; not letting too much time pass between. Really letting people know that they matter to me.

Lord I pray that Your truths would resonate in our hearts this week. How you see us, and how you desire us to walk out our relationships modeling Your love. Help us to lay ourselves down so that Your love can flow through us. I pray that we are willing to put effort into growing and nurturing our relationships this week. And as Your Spirit leads could you keep our eyes open to others who may need a good solid friendship.

Influence - Ann

Hello Friends!

"A Girl-Gone -Wild exerts and is affected by negative influence. A Girl-Gone-Wise exert and is affected by positive influence"

I know that positive influence plays a huge part in my life! I know that when i am positive it helps those around me, and of course I find it so much more enjoyable to be around positive people. I also know that when I am negative it is detrimental to those around me. I see this especially in my marriage. When I am negative and unhappy, then Brian is the same way and when Brian is being negative it is easy to fall into the negativity trap!

I enjoyed the first little story in the beginning about the mother talking about her son's girlfriend as being such a blessing to her son, that she builds him up and has helped him be a better version of himself. What a compliment! I remember when Brian and I were first dating, and he decided that he wanted to start going to church with our family. He wanted to learn more about God and I will say that he did start to make positive changes that his family noticed, and his mom, who is a very Christian lady, was very impressed with him, as it was easy to see that God was definitely working in Brian's life. Then we come to the present and as his wife I believe that it is my vocation to help my husband reach heaven......what a big responsibility! After reading the passage I had to stop and think, and hope that I am still and will continue to be a godly positive influence for my hubby, as I want to do my husband "good and not harm, all the days of my life" (Proverbs 31:12)

Mary moves on to talk about the"Wild Thing" leading the young man into sin and how being bad influence and leading others away from God is a horrible sin. Jesus says in Matthew 18:6 "Whoever causes on of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea" Wow! I had read this passage before but I found it to be a great reminder, that not only does it hurt God when I choose to disobey him, but when I choose to disobey and to influence others to do the same, oh how it must hurt Him, and how much more serious that is! I hope and pray that I can be a good example to others as I have no desire to lead others into sin! I agree with Mary in that I "fail to appreciate the seriousness of sin" in my everyday life. Christ died for me, Christ died to save the whole world! Thanks be to God! I pray that I will stop and think about what I do and how I influence others, as I do not want to continue to crucify God with my sins.

When I got to part where Mary talks about those we choose to surround ourselves with I became a bit defensive. I totally agree with what she says here, but I must confess that I have struggled in this area , and like the young man I have thought that "I can just hang out for a short while", or "Maybe I can help, maybe I can be a positive influence on this person". During these times I have found myself led into sin or in situations or places that I would normally stay away from. Mary points out that God not only wants us to not be a negative influence on others, He wants us to avoid negative people. I did become a bit defensive here, as I know that If am trying my best to stay close to God and being a good person/ positive influence on others than those people who have strayed from God, who need him the most need that positive influence more than anybody... right?!

After pondering on this and looking back on my personal failings when I thought I could be that positive influence on others, I think I went about it all wrong, because I let those people lead me into their way of life instead of having them come see how life is with God. I hope this makes some sort of sense.......oh how the devil is a trickster! 

So, I know that Mary is right, that is why I try to surround myself with good God-centered people and avoid the negative ones , I guess I just get frustrated that I have been weak in the past when trying to be that positive influence, and have failed : )

As Proverbs 13:20;14:7 points out that "Positive inluencers not only surround themselves with positive influence; they are also careful to avoid negative influence. They are acutely aware of their own susceptibility to sin, to they do not form close associations with people who influence them to compromise their obedience to God. I know I must really pray and discern how to be the best influence on those that God brings into my life who have tenancy to be a negative influence on me.

I agree with, and found the following passage to make wonderful sense; "A wise woman knows that it's not her words but her behavior that carries the biggest clout when it comes to compelling change. The more Christlike you are, the more positive your influence will be. If you truly want to influence someone else for good, you won't focus on changing his/her behavior you will focus on changing your behavior. You'll work at becoming more godly and interacting with him/her in a more godly way." I pray I can be better at this! 

Lord, I am a sinner! Please forgive me for my failings. Teach me true humility and strength of character! Lord help me to me more like you!  Help me to be a positive influence on all who I meet! May my behavior and actions exude your love so that I can show you to others in how I live.

Love and blessings to you both!

I hope this finds you having a happy and holy Sunday! : )

Influence - Emily

I am absolutely positive that influence is powerful!! When I worked retail I remember working with one other woman who was very 'hard' (cold, difficult, mad at the world, etc.), she was nice after we got to know each other but we were definitely on different ends of the spectrum. And of course I thought I would win her over to the 'good side' - wrong. after working about a year or so, spending a great deal of time with her I had morphed into a moody two-faced person who one manager even said she was afraid to talk to me some days. Aaagh! I was ashamed when I heard that and I felt bad; but looking back I can absolutely see how/why that happened. I was so trying to 'be a good witness' and say all the right things on the surface but my heart wasn't in the right place. It would have been more effective to button my 'Jesus trap' and just walk in good character, then maybe she would have asked me about why I was the way I was. Can't do it over again, but I certainly learned from that. We really are affected by the company we keep!!
Overall I would say I'm good at avoiding negative influences, but I'm sure there are areas that need improvement. For example, tonight I was sucked into reading all the magazine fronts at the grocery store - all that stuff is garbage, I ought to ignore it!! *And the TV. Honestly, I can be a bug to the light just like anybody else, but if you actually watch what you're watching it is all negative junk set on making us unhappy with what we have and where we are.
I really hope I am a good influence on others, but I'm not sure there's a good way to gauge that... (??)
What has stood out to me the most was how Mary talked about our character needing to be our biggest influence. And really that isn't something we can force when we are with us - it's just being who we are. That's actually very freeing and pressing to me at the same time. Freeing in that when my character is good I don't need to strive to impress or positively influence, it will be a natural outflow of my life... and pressing in that I'm sure there are a lot of flaws in my character that could use some attention. But little by little I trust that God is working in me !!

I really liked how Mary said towards the end "She gives very little in the way of advice.." I have found that in various 'mom circles' they are loaded with legalism on how we should be raising our kids. I've done it, soapboxed about some formula or method or whatever.... but I am really trying to be more aware of that and not offer info unless I am asked and even then only as a suggestion of something that worked for us, not as the only possible thing that might work at all ever.

And PRAYER! How often do I pray but then fully charge ahead in whatever I think is right or best or whatever. I am reminded to pray and TRUST that it's in His hands and He's got it; being patient to wait for the outcome(Phil 2:13)

Love you ladies!! Hope you're having a good weekend :-)

Influence - Hannah

This week's chapter- well, Ann prepped me for the chapter before I read it- so I was ready to be defensive; however, I actually rather liked the chapter and agreed with most of it!  Influence- everyone is affected by influence- positive or negative- music, tv, computer, people.  I've constantly heard you are who your friends are- it is so easily to be influenced by those we are around- I'd like to say that I am always positive- but I am not- I feel like stress and emotions sometimes get the best of me and instead of giving those to the Lord and trying to maintain my positiveness, I am easily swayed to be negative and have a bad attitude- obviously, I know that when I am positive things are better- and I am a more loving person then...John constantly tells me that for me to have a bad attitude can ruin his day- he may be negative, but he relies on me being positive to make things better : ) Mary said, "The "respectful" and 'pure" conduct of the women is what would have the greatest impact.  I want to be respectful and pure- I was to be exuding positivity at all times- I want people to want to be around me, because they see something in me (Christ) that makes me positive and different.  "The more Christlike you are, the most positive your influence will be.  If you truly want to influence someone else for good, you won't focus on changing his behavior.  You'll focus on changing your behavior."  I want to have a positive influence- I need to not be solely focused on how other people are or where they are at- but focus on where I am at and who I am.  I need to focus on me representing Christ- and know that He will use me, especially when I am positive and loving life.
Lord, please forgive me for being so easily influenced by surroundings and negative situations/outcomes- help me to give each day to You, so that I can choose to be positive everyday- EVEN when it's easier to be negative.  Help me to shut Satan down when he tries to intervene- he has a sly way of sneaking in- help me to stay strong and focused on You, so that I do not give him a foothold.  Lord, I pray for Ann and Em- help them and me focus on being more like You- help us to seek You wholeheartedly and look for opportunities to influence others in positive ways.  Thank you for loving us and for being so understanding- and just meeting us where we are at- may we honor You in ALL that we do this week!

Speech - Emily

I can honestly say this is an area where God has been drawing my
attention to lately... and it's not exactly fun for me. But good.
The Holy Spirit gently convicts after I've said something that
could have been left unsaid and then I'm kicking myself, wondering
if I'll ever get this stuff right. Specifically in the area of my
words about my husband. He is an amazing man, I am very grateful
for the many difficult sacrifices he makes for our family - but
would my speech portray that to others? I am often, regrettably,
quick to speak of his shortcomings or things that frustrate me if
the bandwagon is headed in that direction :-( I truly desire to
cultivate more uplifting/promoting/

encouraging speech about him
(and others in general).

I have a lot of underlines and stars and arrows and side notes in
this chapter, but I'll say that Mary hits the nail on the head in
her final paragraph. Yes, our culture is constantly coming at us with
words and moving us to use words etc. to the point where it's now
generally really awkward to sit in silence with someone, or to be
able to actually be a good listener without feeling like we have
2 cents to throw in all the time. God's picture and desire for us
is so totally opposite.

I was raised in a very talkative environment. My husbands family is
rather introverted. After spending a good amount of time with his
aunt working on various sewing projects together I have learned from
her how to practice and enjoy 'comfortable silence' - and the crazy
part is, I really enjoy that now. It's almost like the pressure valve
is released, I don't have to work up random things to talk about if
there isn't really anything to say AND the best part is that we're
less likely to be sinning when we just enjoy each others presence.
{Pr 10:19} I think some of this also has to do with my identity in
Christ, as I grow in knowing who I am in Him, the less I feel like
I have to impress or appease others just based on the cultural norm.

Unfortunately I do still find myself using my words to my advantage
and in pursuit of ulterior motives with my husband sometimes.
Certainly an area that could use some attention, being able to be
wholly and completely honest in my responses and intentions. God
sees my heart so I'm really only hurting myself (and my relationship
with Him) when I am deceitful - whether on purpose or out of bad habits.

Mary didn't necessarily cover this in the chapter but it's been on my
heart (I think I shared some last week) but I desire to see myself grow
in the area of conversation with others that matters. Sometimes I get
tired of talking about the same random casual things when I really just
want to know what's going on in someone's heart and life. I pray that
the Lord will walk me to a deeper more loving level of conversing with
and caring for others. What good is it if we as friends aren't willing
to share with and minister to each other?? (figuratively, not just us
3, but us included).

Lord I think you for your wisdom and your work in us. Thank you that
your Spirit is gentle and kind as you call us to more love with you
and more transformation of our lives. The only thing that matters is
You living out your love through us so I ask that we would continually
lay ourselves down and invite You in to mold and shape us. Keep a
watch over our words and bring prompt conviction when needed so that
we can confess, repent and not give up on the battle over our tongues.
Amen