Neediness - Emily

Ladies! Love you, praying for you both..... it's been a stressful hectic 2 weeks here so I am behind. God is good though. When I prioritize what's most important, He is faithful to allow me little gaps to 'catch up'. Love Him!!!!!

So, Neediness. Been there. Oh yeah. But praise God, in His loving way, He has drawn me away from that and into a blessed place of needing Him more and more!

Hmm... I don't think I am 'needy' towards Joe but I guess he has expressed at times that he feels pressure to provide me with what I want. Like when I'm not happy he can feel at fault for that. So if I'm not resting in God's provision for me, Joe ends up feeling some of that pressure whether that's my intention of not. But over all I wouldn't say that I suffocate him in any way. (But I can always work on my verbal praise and encouragement towards him to ensure him that he's doing a good job being there for our family).

Of the things Mary lists on pg 182, two of them stood out to me that could use my attention... "She sends her roots deep into God's stream to meet her emotional needs. She does not demand emotional satisfaction from people" - Oh emotions. They are such a gift from the Lord when used appropriately but they can be SO damaging if we allow ourselves to be consumed by them. Praying for His perspective! Also "Her life is spiritually fruitful and productive, regardless of the state of her earthly relationships" - My immediate conviction here was with my tongue. When everything's good it's easy to let the Holy Spirit guide (or hold) my words..... but if something is amiss I can fly off the handle and speak things that are not glorifying to God. I desire to have a better handle in that area so as not to contradict myself in my influences toward others.

I LOVE what Mary says at the end of the chapter....

"[Her desire] is beckoning her to look past that image and reach for the reality it represents. Earthly romances are to the Cosmic One like sparkling reflections of light dancing on water are to the blazing sun. They are not the fiery light. They only reflect glimmers of it"  What powerful imagery!! Living near the water I am rather familiar with the wonderfulness of the sun glittering on the water.... and this comparison just humbles me even more at Who God is and how great and awesome and big and powerful and ... and... and... He is! His love for us is so far beyond my comprehension.

I do see this *neediness* in others sometimes and it breaks my heart. I think a good part of it can be tied in with control issues. Seeking everything from someone else but at the same time not able to trust them when they are apart from you and therefore having to have a hand in everything they do. I'm sure there are lots of ways that I need to be able to give God more control, especially in His work in others. Just trusting that He is working and the best way I can help is to pray for them.

I hope this makes some sense. I do know that I am a tangled mess without Jesus. The days when I do not set aside some time to get with Him generally end up being a disaster and if I'm out of the Word for a few days, look out!! But I know I need Him in every breath of my day! He is my Life!! I need Him!

Father, help me to keep my needs directed to you. You delight in providing for me as I lean on and trust in You for all things! May you be close with my sweet sisters here and draw our hearts more and more towards Yourself. We love you! Amen.