Habits - Emily

Ok, I have to admit... I was not really looking forward to reading this chapter - I remember it being quite a doozy when I read through this book 2 years ago.

In some areas I have experienced progress and the Life that flows out of those choices; I've been getting up early this summer to be in the Word and exercise... but there are still days I'd much rather sleep, particularly if I'm up every couple hours of the night with kids. I do notice a huge difference in the days when I choose to sleep rather than get up and if I go a few days of sleeping in I feel like a train wreck. - but overall I feel like I've made good progress here recognizing and acting out this priority.

But the real kicker this week was what Mary shared about how the orderliness  of our home is a reflection of our inner life - OUCH!! (pg 73) Our house is a mess, most all the time. I am home pretty much all day every day so there is no good reason for this. Believe me I have a long list of justified reasons that our environment is the way that it is, but I know they are just excuses. I've really had to fight an overwhelming feeling of failure the last 48hrs. It's so overwhelming that I generally don't know where to begin and it can get real discouraging :-(  Praying for the Spirit's help and balance in this area!!

On pg 75 Mary talks about a Wise girls habits being self-sacrificing. I'm working on this area - being willing to do the things that will bless my family first (laundry, dishes, etc.) before I sit and cruise the internet or whatever. And I'm finding, at least in this season of life, there isn't much time left over for mindless self-indulgence and I don't really miss it. But as I am growing in this area I have to be real careful of not getting judgey and resentful towards others who haven't had this particular conviction yet or are in a different season of life with more 'free time' than I have.

It is refreshing to read that the battle for self-discipline is on-going and I remind myself that self-control is a fruit of the Spirit = so as I continue to lay myself down and seek to be filled with Him, He will help my to walk out the necessary habits of a life that honors Him.

This was a heavy one this week. Lord, I want what you want for my life. I know that a more organized and neat home will bless my family (and me) abundantly - please help me get there in a balanced yet purposeful manner. I need your help! Amen.

Habits - Ann

Hello Ladies!

Well, this week Mary has helped me confront and work on some of my bad habits! : )

I read this chapter last week and a few of my bad habits were brought to light.

Mary points out that:

 "Home is far more than a place of residence with a requisite set of domestic duties. One's home is her inner private sanctum. It's the "place" physically and spiritually where the most important stuff in life happens. Home is crucial. If a woman's surroundings are neglected out of order clutter and chaotic, chances are her inner private life shares the same fate. And, her habitual pattern of neglect affects far more than just her. It affects her husband, her marriage, her children, and ultimately her own capacity to live a godly, fruitful, productive life and to make a difference in the world."

This passage stopped me in my tracks...I know when my home is out of order I am on edge but also, after doing some further thinking and observing I have a lot to do to truly make my home a "sanctuary". I must confess that I am okay with keeping my house clean on the surface but that I am lazy when it comes to deep cleaning and keeping things truly clutter free and organized......This also made me realize  that I am the same way mentally a lot of the time.......I deal with things on the surface, but find it hard to face the root of an issue.....oh boy.......Then, I realized I am like this spiritually as well....I like making time for God.....but, I find it hard to really let go and let God in and let Him take over.

This past week I have been working on getting things better organized in my little home that seems to get cluttered so fast! I have cleaned some closets, sorted through clothes that I didn't realize I had and I have gone through my filing cabinet and a 1 yr stack of paid bills that we had saved for some reason or another.....I have much more to do but I'm energized to get things done so my home can truly be a sanctuary, as it will improve not only my daily life but that of my husband as well!

There were many more areas of this chapter that spoke to me, and another one I will mention is where Mary says "Looking at what you routinely do reveals what your priorities are..... if you routinely sleep in instead of getting up to read your Bible, then sleep is a higher priority to you than Bible reading. There's not sense trying to pretend otherwise." I must say that this describes me perfectly. The hardest part of my day is getting out of bed. I have a horrible habit of pressing snooze. I have been reading the Bible in the morning but I was reading it in bed on the Kindle and falling back to sleep and sometimes even falling asleep while i was reading instead of truly making and effort to listen to God.

So, Mary challenged me here and this week I have been  actually getting out of bed so I am awake and reading my bible out loud as well a reflection on the reading and makding time to just pray and be quiet with him.....and I will say making more of an effort and making time for the Big Man totally makes a difference in my whole day!

Of course I have other bad habits as I have "fleshy desires" and a "sinful pull toward self-indulgence" but Mary is once again so encouraging and assures us that on our own we cannot do anything but that the Lord gives us all I need. "The Lord gives me His Spirit to help me in my weakness. The Holy Spirit is the Spirit of power, of love and self-discipline." (2 Tim 1:7)

Lord help me to keep my life orderly and disciplined and help me to always put first things first!

Blessings on you both as we continue to grow! : )

Attitude - Hannah

So sorry that I never wrote my thoughts on this chapter, I did read it :)

Briefly, the main things I took away were that my attitude is definitely not what or where it should be..yet, God is still working on me as a woman...constantly trying to soften me.  When Mary shared the story of the married couple and the concept of chipping away at the husband's manhood- it made me think about how I critique John or always question what he is doing and that chips away at him feeling like he is providing and being the man for our family...it amazes me how easily my attitude can change based on circumstances-even though I ultimately have control over it, it can change so quickly..whether because someone else has a bad attitude or something doesn't go my way...wow-oh how quickly my attitude changes...anywAy,  I know I have a lot to be working on. . I want to have a positive attitude so that others can see God's love in me and want to be around me...

Definitely my prayer from this chapter.

Attitude - Ann

Good evening Ladies!
I found this to be a refreshing chapter. No, I am not a woman of perfect attitude, I definitely have lots of room to grow in this area but I just feel more at ease in a way after reading this chapter. Its kinda of freeing to be reminded of what it means to be a real woman and that it is okay to be a girl even though the world constantly tells us a different story. As Mary sadly points out, “due to the impact of the women’s movement, today’s women reject the very disposition that makes women uniquely feminine – the one that distinguishes them as Gods perfect counterpart to men.” And that “the biblical stance on the appropriate demeanor for women is extremely counter-cultural.” I like how she points out how valuable it is to be a "kind, gentle, faithful, pure, warm-hearted, tender and submissive" woman.
Now we will move on to my attitude. For the most part I think I have a good attitude, but after reading this chapter I was reminded that the person I that I just about solely express attitude towards is my hubby. My husband is the one who sees my grumpy, tired, stubborn, sassy smart-alicy ways more than anyone. Now, I do not think I give him attitude everyday, but I especially give that “You better do it my way" attitude when he does not pick up after himself or when he does not have the same eye for clean that I do, and I sometimes I even become jealous of his ability to look past a dirty room. I will say that I will work on being more gentle, warm and loving towards my hubby in this area. I also know that I can work on being more gentle, calm and amenable on a daily basis.
I enjoyed reading where Mary points out that I as a woman was created to joyfully and actively respond and receive. In addition I like how Mary points out that when we as women exercise the traits of gentleness, calmness and amenability, we exercise these traits in a uniquely feminine way. Sometimes I have thought it a burden to be a woman, but how special are we?! God is good!
Mary also points out that we must "die to self" and let God take over. Oh what a good reminder, and oh how difficult this is, but I know when I step aside,and listen to Him life is so much better somehow.
At the end of the Chapter Mary asks these questions and I have found them useful to reflect on.
When it comes to my attitude I have some choices to make:
Will accept the deceptive lie that God’s way will diminish me?
Am I going to fight the Fear factor?
Will I hang on to sin’s twisted distortion of what it means to be a woman?
Will I be transformed into whom the lord created me to be?
I am so glad we are reading this together! : )
I pray that as we journey on we will be able to say to God as Mary said in Luke 1:38 "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your work." May we learn to die to self and say "Yes" to God!

Attitude - Emily

Hey, I hope you've had an amazing week! God is so good!

Attitude. This is a great chapter. In retrospect I can see that God has done a lot of work in me in this area.... and there is still much work to be done :-) I had to think on this one for a day or so to try and receive whatever the Lord wants me to work on in this area. I think I usually have a pretty good attitude, but I know there are times when I don't.... it's just hard to see them in myself sometimes, ya know.

So I asked my sweet hubby with a preface of "I'm not looking for a fight, but I genuinely want to know what you're reflections of my attitude are." And his response was "It depends on who you're around." (OUCH!) He said at home I pretty much always have a good attitude but I can get disrespectful around certain other people, he expanded on that some (and it's something we have talked about before). I thought I was getting better but apparently it still really bothers him SO I have a specific area I need to pray about and work on. **Note: it was interesting to observe myself growing defensive as he shared this with me, even though I said I wasn't looking for a fight! I had to mentally check myself, give my thoughts to God and be open to what he was saying.

One of my favorite quotes from this chapter is from the picture she paints on pg 63 of male and female ".... He is 'strong' directed by inner softness. She is 'soft' directed by inner strength." God has created men and women SO different yet so perfectly fit for each other. And the scripture of Mary's response to the angel of the Lord, Luke 1:38 "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word"

All glory to God that He has worked on this in me >> I don't feel I have an outright bad attitude much at all. Not to say that there aren't still areas that need work (I play the martyr sometimes, holier-than-thou, judgmental, snippy, and a host of other nasty things that sneak up out of me) but by His grace He won't let me stay here and wants to make me over as I give these areas to Him.

Lord, forgive us for our wrong, defiant, selfish attitudes; anything that does not line up with You. Help us to cultivate the beautiful softness that You desire so that when others see us, they see You!

Love you ladies!

Approach - Ann

Hi there ladies!

I hope you both are enjoying a wonderful 4th of July! It's such a beautiful day!

I enjoyed reading this chapter, and Mary is so good at bringing the bible to life and getting her point across using scripture. 

I too had a hard time personally relating to this chapter, but I also know I am not perfect in this area. The chapter seemed directed towards the dating girl, but nevertheless, I also see how it applies to the married woman and to all types of relationships. Just like all the previous chapters it did cause me to stop and think and be mindful of what my approach to romance in particular what my approach I take regards to my relationship with my husband.

Do I always try to get my way?

After thinking on these things I know there have been times when I have been particularly selfish and have probably been manipulative to Brian .........but honestly nothing really sticks out in my mind at this time.......I just asked Brian if he honestly considers me to be manipulative, and he said no....

I will say I will now be on guard against being manipulative, and to be more mindful of how God wants me to approach my relationship with my husband, and all relationships as I do not want to as Mary says; "rely on my own craftiness instead of relying on the Lord" as I do not want to "mock and make fun of Gods ways".

I love the good news that Mary tells in this chapter, letting us know that "the the very one who is the author of all true love and romance is standing before us..we just need to allow Him in to write our love stories....He wants us to taste and see that He is good", thanks be to God!

Lord help us to truly be the wise wives and women you want us to be, help us to be mindful of your ways!

Have a blessed week!

Approach - Emily

Morning ladies!

 I'm so thankful to be going through this book/study with you two. I'm excited to see what God is going to do in us over these next 17 weeks. I know He's working in me regarding the things we've read so far so I'm confident He's working in you two too :-) Phil 1:6

This chapter seemed to really be directed at the unmarried girl/woman and her approach to men. We're all married so I'm excited to read what the Lord has shown you two. I read the chapter and have thought on it for a couple days asking God to show me how/where this applies to my life. And sure enough, He is faithful! Yesterday specifically I got to experience myself try to 'get my way' through some manipulative tactics. Nothing over the top and loud but just subtle ways I was going about my own agenda not checking with Joe first. I got the situation all set up the way I wanted it and then talked with him and it wasn't something he wanted to go through with in the first place. And the craziest part is that the Spirit was prompting me against it the whole time and I knew it.... I was just ignoring Him (Ugh, when will I learn to listen the first time!!) So now I have to humble myself today make a call to undo what I had set up.

So I am certainly manipulative towards my husband sometimes. (eek, it hurts just to type that out) Again I would say it isn't anything too over the top but just subtle ways I'm going about my own business and not laying things down, first, before the Lord and secondly, my husband. Lord, please give me a pure heart towards EVERYONE I come into contact with, especially the wonderful man you've given me to spend the rest of my life with.

On pg 48, 49 Mary says " A 'fool' in the Bible is a person who lives life as if God and God's way were of no consequence.... Folly is more than just plain silliness. It actually demonstrates a disdain for God's truth and discipline." and down the page further she talks about how God views this behavior as an abomination (comparable to cat mess, yuck!).
Yes, we do live under the grace of Jesus but that isn't a license to just follow our flesh and do whatever we want. God's law of sowing and reaping is still in effect. We don't see beer commercials glamorizing puking drunk people and the throb of a hangover headache because they don't want us to think about the consequences of our choices.

Matt 5:37 Just say a simple, 'Yes, I will,' or 'No, I won't.' Anything beyond this is from the evil one. NLT

Lord, please cleanse our hearts and help us to have pure motives in our relationships with other people, especially our husbands!!

Approach - Hannah

So, after reading this chapter, I didn't feel that I related as much to it as I have the others.  Though I understand the concept and believe Mary has a point-i felt that especially being married now- and even prior to being married- I wasn't very manipulative in my relationships - at least i don't think i was..It isn't that I don't see girls using different modes of persuasion to get what they want- sexually, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even circumstantially- we can see this all around us..maybe because I feel like my husband won't stand to be manipulated- he can see straight threw or because I'm not a good liar?? :) I just don't feel that in my relationship with him that I use manipulation to get what I want- I see the benefit of seeking to honor God in our relationship-which then leads me to trying to be the best that I can be in our relationship- obviously not stating that there are not hardships, etc.. But manipulation does not lead to being respectful of the other person..
Anyways, this chapter was interesting and full of Biblical examples of stories- I really liked that- made it easier to identify things of today with things from the Bible times.
Here's to another week of working on being wise in our everyday lives.  Hope you both have a great 4th of July!!
Blessings,
Hannah

Counsel - Hannah

Better late than never, right? :)
What an interesting chapter..I remember back at the beginning of my college yrs I was a counselor at a wknd retreat and felt convicted while at that retreat to quit listening to secular music-I took several of my secular CDs and broke them so that I wouldn't be tempted to listen.. I would leave shopping stores if they played music that I felt was dishonoring to God, etc... I lasted doing that for probably 6 months and then went back to listening to whatever. I'd say I went a bit extreme and though I wouldn't change that experience I wouldn't do it again. How can you reach the lost if you become so far disconnected from the present? I know that many things are of the world today soo yes, we must be on the lookout-what goes in, must come out, right? We do need to protect ourselves, just not to the extent of zero exposure-because then we can't relate at all.
I thought the statistics were interesting for phone/media/TV/computer/radio.

.. we don't watch too much TV anymore..as it seems we aren't home too much but I'll say that when we do or watch movie we don't monitor them as well as we prob should, especially for once B gets bigger and starts repeating things.
I do recognize that music plays a big role in my life..I listen all day at work ..all the time at home while cooking, cleaning, etc..I find if I listen to classical it relaxes me but listening to other secular music - though catchy - prob gives me more of an attitude..
The book talks about how Eve made the mistake of eating the forbidden fruit and how it was just a happenstance mistake - it was a result of several things - listening, engaging, accepting, then acting.
Phillippians 4:8- may we do this.
This chapter was a good reminder of watching what goes in, as I know it will come out.
Here's to another week of trying to wholeheartedly seek Him!

Heart - Hannah

Hey girls!
Finally..my thoughts on the Heart chapter...
So, chapter 1 hit hard and made did make me feel a bit guilty. Mary states " If Christ is at the center-if He is the one who has forever swept her off her feet-she makes sure that her attitude and speech and conduct are pleasing to Him...(Ps 25:15). I feel this way about J. I daily strive to please him, honor him, and make sure he is taken care of. Light was shed on the fact that I tend to put my husband before God. J and I had a conversation about this and I said that prior to him being in my life- my life revolved around God- there was no competition..but now it's hard to make time for even just J and B, let alone God. After reading this chapter-J and I discussed how some things have to change- I need to put God first and then trust that He'll help me make time for my family and other priorities. Christ is not at the forefront of my affections-He has not captivated my heart. I've got quite a ways to go before I get to being a bit wiser, but this book is definitely shining light on a lot of things. . . And I pray that as we all continue to work our way through this book- God will bring us closer to Him. 
Lord, grab my heart- take it- and make it Yours. Help me to desire to put you 1st, and then J and B. Help me to give J up to you- so that I can focus on serving him through serving You. Thank you for still loving me in spite of not always putting You first.