Focus - Anne

Hey Ladies!

As I read the first part of the chapter where Mary talks about the woman on the prowl looking to hunt and trap a man, I felt that it did not apply to me. 

My thoughts while reading it I were  that I am not at that stage in my life and even before Brian and I were married I can honestly say that I did not struggle with being a prowler or a woman who hunted and tried to trap men. I was my boring ole self, and my older brothers' friend, whom I found attractive and quite interesting, ended up thinking the same about me and the rest is history........how boring I know : )

Then, I got to the part where Mary says that the "Lying-in-wait behavior isn't restricted to getting a guy , the Wild Thing may turn her attention to getting the house, getting the furniture, getting a car, getting new clothes, getting a job, getting some kids, getting a break, getting her husband to change......get, get, get....and there we go again Mary made me stop and think!

At first it made me think of a passage in another book I am reading and the author mentions that in our current society people are largely influenced and live by the practical philosophy of Individualism where the motto is "Whats in it for me?".  The fruits of Individualism are "greed selfishness and exploitation".....yuck!

Then, of course I had to think what my focus is personally........I would say that for the most part I am not a selfish person but in the same breath I will say that I do feel I am quite selfish in my marriage....I think that I sometimes forget that I got married to give of myself and do for my husband....I do lots of things for Brian but at the same time I want him to notice and give me praise.....and I usually expect things in return...I expect him to do his part too.......I do good and loving things but at the same time I think of what I will get out of it as I'm doing it.

And I can't say "that in everything that I do from the way I dress to the way that I order my day seeks" to glorify God, but I can say that this is what I strive for! I definitely have a ways to go!

I will also say that having infertility issues all while feeling like God has called me to be a mother has been a huge struggle for me causing me to feel like a very selfish girl who is not getting her way.....having feelings at times like I do not have purpose in life.......just being caught up in my selfish ways and pitying myself.....yes, I get very down on myself......, but, as time has gone on I have been working on having a better outlook on life and God has helped me see the bigger picture and my simple purpose of just being the best person I can be in every role that I do currently play at this stage in my life. 

As Mary reminds us this week: "Don't squander your life. Don't waste your time lying in wait. Christ is too important. Time is too precious......busy yourself with your mission, trust in the Lord to take care of the rest! I would like to say a big AMEN to that! 

Thank you Lord for all you have done for me and for the many blessings you have bestowed upon me! Help me Lord to always keep my eyes focused on you, please grant me a giving and selfless heart and attitude, and help me to trust you more!

Many Blessings!