Neediness - Ann

Hi Friends!

Well, I thought this was an easier read than last week.

I would not say that I am not overly clingy and needy when it comes to men, however, I do not think I am truly a wise woman.....yet.

As Mary points out that "It's not that the wise woman never experiences "pressure cooker" heat in her relationships - or that she never faces a year of relational drought. But she withstands those tough times. She doesn't get fearful or anxious when they come, because her relationship with the Lord nourishes and sustains her. She doesn't rely on the cistern. "

My relationship with my hubby is not always perfect and easy however, I do not get overly concerned or anxious about it as I know God will help us get through our ups and downs. But at the same time I sometimes expect my hubby to fill up that void that only God can fill. 

Just last Sunday, I addressed Brian with his excessive computer/internet usage, as I see it, and the way I communicated probably wasn't the best, but as he went to work for the night and we had not resolved the issue, I was feeling quite distraught. I do truly think that Brian has been letting the internet suck up his life, and when he is on the computer I feel like he would rather surf the net then be with me, but at the same time when addressing the issue I was coming across as a selfish needy baby, and when Brian left for work I was left alone to cry and think. While thinking, I also realized that I have also been trying to have Brian fill up that area that God can only fill and then getting mad  at my husband for not succeeding. It's hard to explain exactly what I am trying to say, but before I had even read this chapter, while crying and pouting I thought. Wow God! Yes!  Brian has some things to work on but geeze I am being a little needy, and even if my hubby doted on me hand and foot 24/7, constantly focused on me I will not be content because I need you Lord. After this I spent some time in prayer and  I took my concerns to the God in prayer the next day too. Afterwards, I was able to clearly express my feelings to Brian. After taking my concern to God and letting Him help me work through my thoughts and feelings everything was so clear!  Lord help me to stay close to you, to trust in you, to rely on you! 

I would say that my heart sometimes feels lonely and needy, while I need to be better at nourishing my relationship with God as I do believe that only a relationship with God can meet my deepest needs.

As Psalm 42:1-2 says "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God."

Lord thank you for always being there for us, help us to nourish and deepen our relationships with you, so that we may trust you more.