This chapter, really made me stop and think once again, as many of
these chapters have. It caused me to think about how much I talk and the
quality of my talking.
I realize that
sometimes we have to talk about things that are not necessarily fun to
talk about, but even in those times I can choose my words wisely.
When I am frustrated with my hubby I can say things in a way that
can build him up and help the situation or I can tear him down.
As
I mentioned to Emily on Monday, I took her prayer to heart last week
and knew that the next chapter was about speech, and although I had not
read the whole chapter, but pondering on Em's prayer and what I had read
of the chapter helped me on Fri and Sat. On Friday and Saturday my
hubby had particularly irritated me with his lack of cleaning/following
through with his end of the housekeeping duties. When I left for work on
Friday I left irritated after Brian made a comment in the effect of how
he didn't want to clean up after anyone but himself......, and he had
let the dishes pile up in the sink (he is the dish doer). So I came home
for lunch to see that nothing in the way of cleaning had gotten done.
When I got home I instead of being tense and irritated, I didn't nag him
about anything, but as I left in the evening to meet up with some
friends for dinner I did suggest that it would give him plenty of time
to get all the dishes done.......and I chose to say this in a nice way
without being winy. I came home to find that he had done some dishes but
not all of them. Instead of complaining I decided to thank him fr what
he did do as I really appreciated it. Then, on Sat I was gone most of
the day at a conference and instead of nagging Brian about everything I
thought he should be/could be doing such as : cleaning our basement,
cleaning the garage, mowing the lawn, finishing the dishes or maybe
fixing up the car he bought a couple of weeks ago that he hasn't done
anything with.........I just thought I would keep all my negative words
to myself and ask God to guide and direct what I should say and to help
me to not get so irritated about the small stuff. So I get home around 5pm
on Sat to find the dishes were still undone, the lawn still needed
mowed, the car untouched and the basement still a mess.......and hubby
taking a nap on the couch. Call me a complaining wife but at this point I
wanted yell at him and throw a fit, as I felt he was being too lazy.
However, I knew throwing a fit was not what a wise woman would
do.......Instead I took the dog on a walk and I was able to pray and
clear my head. I returned home with a new attitude. I decided to spend 1
hr cleaning and then sat down with Brian on the couch. He woke up and
preceded to tell me how he had worked on cleaning up the garage most of
the day..........and then I thought "Thank you Lord for helping me curb
my tongue! We had a very nice rest of the weekend and it was so
peaceful! Long story....maybe I am being excessive but anyways, after
reading this chapter I have been more aware of how my words can not only
affect my husband but all who I speak to throughout the day.
I have struggled in the past with being extremely
shy and quiet. I used to think that in social situations it was best not
to talk as no one would care what I had to say. No joke, I used to
think like this.I have come a long way, but I would still consider
myself a little bit shy. Now having said this over the years as I have
"come out of my shell" as they say, I have practiced the mindset that I
have to be talking if I am around people. I am content being quiet but
there is a part of my brain that tells me I have to talk when people are
around, so when Mary said " restraining words means that you don't have
to have an opinion on everything. You don't have to comment on
everything that happens. You don't have to have an answer to every
question"......she goes on to say "It means you are quick to listen, but
slow to speak (James1:19)" I enjoyed this, of course i know this but it
was nice to be told this. It reminded me that just talking to talk is
not what God wants of me, he wants me to talk but to be mindful of what I
say and how I say it. I saw it as permission to be quiet.
At the end of the chapter Mary has a bunch of
questions to ponder and I will say that I can improve my speech. I can
talk less in many situations, be truly sincere when I compliment people,
and be more mindful of how and what I say as I do not want to be
manipulative.
"She keeps her tongue from evil and her lips from speaking guile." 1Peter3:10
Lord
may our lips always proclaim your praise, as we want to show you to
others in how and what we choose to say. May what we say be thought-out,
honest and true, and said in a way as to not manipulate or seduce.
Please know you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Love you both!
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