Monday, November 18, 2013

Speech - Ann

Mary writes in the beginning of the chapter, "wild thing, her speech is excessive (much), duplicitous (smooth) and manipulative (seductive).......this doesn't sound attractive at all.

This chapter, really made me stop and think once again, as many of these chapters have. It caused me to think about how much I talk and the quality of my talking.

I realize that sometimes we have to talk about things that are not necessarily fun to talk about, but even in those times I can choose my words wisely.
When I am frustrated with my hubby I can say things in a way that can build him up and help the situation or I can tear him down.
As I mentioned to Emily on Monday, I took her prayer to heart last week and knew that the next chapter was about speech, and although I had not read the whole chapter, but pondering on Em's prayer and what I had read of the chapter helped me on Fri and Sat. On Friday and Saturday my hubby had particularly irritated me with his lack of cleaning/following through with his end of the housekeeping duties. When I left for work on Friday I left irritated after Brian made a comment in the effect of how he didn't want to clean up after anyone but himself......, and he had let the dishes pile up in the sink (he is the dish doer). So I came home for lunch to see that nothing in the way of cleaning had gotten done. When I got home I instead of being tense and irritated, I didn't nag him about anything, but as I left in the evening to meet up with some friends for dinner I did suggest that it would give him plenty of time to get all the dishes done.......and I chose to say this in a nice way without being winy. I came home to find that he had done some dishes but not all of them. Instead of complaining I decided to thank him fr what he did do as I really appreciated it. Then, on Sat I was gone most of the day at a conference and instead of nagging Brian about everything I thought he should be/could be doing such as : cleaning our basement, cleaning the garage, mowing the lawn, finishing the dishes or maybe fixing up the car he bought a couple of weeks ago that he hasn't done anything with.........I just thought I would keep all my negative words to myself and ask God to guide and direct what I should say and to help me to not get so irritated about the small stuff. So I get home around 5pm on Sat to find the dishes were still undone, the lawn still needed mowed, the car untouched and the basement still a mess.......and hubby taking a nap on the couch. Call me a complaining wife but at this point I wanted yell at him and throw a fit, as I felt he was being too lazy. However, I knew throwing a fit was not what a wise woman would do.......Instead I took the dog on a walk and I was able to pray and clear my head. I returned home with a new attitude. I decided to spend 1 hr cleaning and then sat down with Brian on the couch. He woke up and preceded to tell me how he had worked on cleaning up the garage most of the day..........and then I thought "Thank you Lord for helping me curb my tongue! We had a very nice rest of the weekend and it was so peaceful!  Long story....maybe I am being excessive but anyways, after reading this chapter I have been more aware of how my words can not only affect my husband but all who I speak to throughout the day. 

I have struggled in the past with being extremely shy and quiet. I used to think that in social situations it was best not to talk as no one would care what I had to say. No joke, I used to think like this.I have come a long way, but I would still consider myself a little bit shy. Now having said this over the years as I have "come out of my shell" as they say, I have practiced the mindset that I have to be talking if I am around people. I am content being quiet but there is a part of my brain that tells me I have to talk when people are around, so when Mary said " restraining words means that you don't have to have an opinion on everything. You don't have to comment on everything that happens. You don't have to have an answer to every question"......she goes on to say "It means you are quick to listen, but slow to speak (James1:19)" I enjoyed this, of course i know this but it was nice to be told this. It reminded me that just talking to talk is not what God wants of me, he wants me to talk but to be mindful of what I say and how I say it. I saw it as permission to be quiet.

At the end of the chapter Mary has a bunch of questions to ponder and I will say that I can improve my speech. I can talk less in many situations, be truly sincere when I compliment people, and be more mindful of how and what I say as I do not want to be manipulative.

"She keeps her tongue from evil and her lips from speaking guile." 1Peter3:10

Lord may our lips always proclaim your praise, as we want to show you to others in how and what we choose to say. May what we say be thought-out, honest and true, and said in a way as to not manipulate or seduce.

Please know you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Love you both!

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