Speech - Hannah

Wow.  Words.  I love words..sometimes I am too full of them, sometimes I'm without them...words are powerful.  This chapter was a good reminder of being quick to listen and slow to speak...so often I speak out of frustration- which doesn't build anyone up.  Ann, I liked how you read it as permission to be quiet sometimes..and I agree...sometimes I think we can über still and just listen.
I have a lot to work on from this chapter...sometimes in anger or frustration it is easier to ter down than build up- it was a good reminder to watch what I say.
"You don't have to nag." "You don't have to be proved right."  Whoa...pride comes into play here..nagging when things don't get done..or feeling like I have to be told I'm right -what a reminder / reality check- Hannah, you need to set back and honor God and others with your words.
I pray that we all be quick to listen and slow to speak in all circumstance.  Love you girlies.

Speech - Ann

Mary writes in the beginning of the chapter, "wild thing, her speech is excessive (much), duplicitous (smooth) and manipulative (seductive).......this doesn't sound attractive at all.

This chapter, really made me stop and think once again, as many of these chapters have. It caused me to think about how much I talk and the quality of my talking.

I realize that sometimes we have to talk about things that are not necessarily fun to talk about, but even in those times I can choose my words wisely.

When I am frustrated with my hubby I can say things in a way that can build him up and help the situation or I can tear him down.

As I mentioned to Emily on Monday, I took her prayer to heart last week and knew that the next chapter was about speech, and although I had not read the whole chapter, but pondering on Em's prayer and what I had read of the chapter helped me on Fri and Sat. On Friday and Saturday my hubby had particularly irritated me with his lack of cleaning/following through with his end of the housekeeping duties. When I left for work on Friday I left irritated after Brian made a comment in the effect of how he didn't want to clean up after anyone but himself......, and he had let the dishes pile up in the sink (he is the dish doer). So I came home for lunch to see that nothing in the way of cleaning had gotten done. When I got home I instead of being tense and irritated, I didn't nag him about anything, but as I left in the evening to meet up with some friends for dinner I did suggest that it would give him plenty of time to get all the dishes done.......and I chose to say this in a nice way without being winy. I came home to find that he had done some dishes but not all of them. Instead of complaining I decided to thank him fr what he did do as I really appreciated it. Then, on Sat I was gone most of the day at a conference and instead of nagging Brian about everything I thought he should be/could be doing such as : cleaning our basement, cleaning the garage, mowing the lawn, finishing the dishes or maybe fixing up the car he bought a couple of weeks ago that he hasn't done anything with.........I just thought I would keep all my negative words to myself and ask God to guide and direct what I should say and to help me to not get so irritated about the small stuff. So I get home around 5pm on Sat to find the dishes were still undone, the lawn still needed mowed, the car untouched and the basement still a mess.......and hubby taking a nap on the couch. Call me a complaining wife but at this point I wanted yell at him and throw a fit, as I felt he was being too lazy. However, I knew throwing a fit was not what a wise woman would do.......Instead I took the dog on a walk and I was able to pray and clear my head. I returned home with a new attitude. I decided to spend 1 hr cleaning and then sat down with Brian on the couch. He woke up and preceded to tell me how he had worked on cleaning up the garage most of the day..........and then I thought "Thank you Lord for helping me curb my tongue! We had a very nice rest of the weekend and it was so peaceful!  Long story....maybe I am being excessive but anyways, after reading this chapter I have been more aware of how my words can not only affect my husband but all who I speak to throughout the day. 

I have struggled in the past with being extremely shy and quiet. I used to think that in social situations it was best not to talk as no one would care what I had to say. No joke, I used to think like this.I have come a long way, but I would still consider myself a little bit shy. Now having said this over the years as I have "come out of my shell" as they say, I have practiced the mindset that I have to be talking if I am around people. I am content being quiet but there is a part of my brain that tells me I have to talk when people are around, so when Mary said " restraining words means that you don't have to have an opinion on everything. You don't have to comment on everything that happens. You don't have to have an answer to every question"......she goes on to say "It means you are quick to listen, but slow to speak (James1:19)" I enjoyed this, of course i know this but it was nice to be told this. It reminded me that just talking to talk is not what God wants of me, he wants me to talk but to be mindful of what I say and how I say it. I saw it as permission to be quiet.

At the end of the chapter Mary has a bunch of questions to ponder and I will say that I can improve my speech. I can talk less in many situations, be truly sincere when I compliment people, and be more mindful of how and what I say as I do not want to be manipulative.

"She keeps her tongue from evil and her lips from speaking guile." 1Peter3:10

Lord may our lips always proclaim your praise, as we want to show you to others in how and what we choose to say. May what we say be thought-out, honest and true, and said in a way as to not manipulate or seduce.

Please know you are both in my thoughts and prayers. Love you both!

Reliability - Ann

I think of myself as a reliable person. But after reading the chapter I will say I feel bad for getting behind on my reading and thoughts...............It was quite unreliable of me. 

"The girl gone wise is faithful, loyal and dependable. The heart of her husband trusts her, She's a woman of her word." When it come to reliability and my husband I had to stop and think about it. I think I do pretty well, but there are areas such as always making sure their is dinner to eat, and making sure his clothes are clean where I do slack off once in a while. Not always coming home when I said I would be home. Brian trusts me, but there are times when I get caught up in myself or other things, where he gets neglected. I know that with our opposite schedules, it is easy for us to get caught up in our own little worlds, so there is definitely room to improve when it comes to reliability and my hubby. I know i can work on incorporating the "our" more than the "my."

Mary reminds us that "Marriage is much more than a human covenant, it is a covenant with God." and that God wants us to be faithful to others as he is to us, and "when we are faithful to a covenant we put God on display." How great to be reminded of how important our marriages are and that by being faithful to our spouses and commitments we are putting God on display....how neat! I didn't really think about it like that!

God wants us to be faithful just as He is faithful to us and how wonderful that He is faithful to us "God remembers his promises forever" Psalm 111:5 and Tim 2:13 " His is never unfaithful. Not ever! If we are faithless he remains faithful-for he cannot deny himself." Wowzer! our God is good, and he loves us so much! 

I may add more thoughts later but for now I need to go to bed : )

Jesus, I pray that we may be true women of our word. Dependable, truthful, faithful and reliable in all things as you are for us!

Reliability - Emily

Reliability. Knowing this was the topic of the chapter I was thinking ahead of time that yes, I am mostly reliable in my dealings with others. But of course, Mary's Scripture for the chapter is more direct "The heart of her HUSBAND trusts in her" Pr 31:11 - Ok, well, sadly I think I'm not as reliable to him as I desire to be.  I often break my word to my husband and especially to God. Thankfully God is always forgiving to true repentance and hubby is very forgiving most of the time too.

Mary says (pg 204) "People yearn to have friends that are as loyal, reliable, and trustworthy." Being created in God's image of fellowship we all have this longing - The thing that comes to mind here is that hubby and I are each other's best friend, doesn't that call me to an even higher standard of loyalty, etc? I think so. But often I can let the demands/distractions of the here and now get in my way of fulfilling what I told him I would do. I know he gets disappointed when I do not honor my word (who wouldn't?) His desires should be the first on my 'lists' (after God's of course).

Mary also mentions the use of words on the bottom of pg 204 - Sadly, I often catch myself using "my" more than "our" :-(  An area I really need to humble myself in.

I like the mental picture she offers that a covenant is a framework. As though it's the structure a healthy relationship is built around. Jesus is our foundation and faithfulness the 'bones' of our house. And the whole paragraph there about how faithful God is - leaves me awestruck at His goodness. Especially 2 Tim 2:13 "If we are faithless, he remains faithful"

And the truth that the Spirit is present in our covenant union. Talking about the nations of Israel Mary says "When they were unfaithful to each other they were unfaithful to God" ... then on the next page "When we are faithful to a covenant we put God on display" Wow. So often I guess I am just thinking about myself.... and not even accounting for the greater picture involved here.

Oh words. God is a silent witness to our every word. Some days I pray for a holy button on my trap because I know I'm going to need it ;-)  Matt 5:37 is written up on our fridge right now because God has shown me that is a key area of my parenting that needs work but it also transcends into all other areas. I'm a woman. I like to talk. But really, I am asking for an overflow of God's Spirit and discernment to help me control my mouth. I want to be known for quality conversation more than lots of idle chatter. I want my words to count for eternity.

Heavenly Father, I ask that You would draw near to each of us over this weekend and reveal more of your closeness to us, giving us a better understanding of how present you really are in all the things we say and do. Amen.

Entitlement - Ann

Instant gratification, this is what our culture preaches, having everything handed to you, the easy life, no pain, no suffering, telling us we "deserve" to always feel good. Telling us it is okay if if feels good. Oh, how it is easy to get caught up in this way of  thinking that we are" entitled:" to all things good. I know I get off track thinking that life should be easy, I feel entitled to be able to sleep in , I feel I deserve to have a treat before I go to bed every night. I deserve to always be happy, I deserve to have nice things. After reading this chapter I am reminded of how selfish these thoughts and the entitled way of life is! It's not all about Me me Me!

As Mary points out "A girl gone wise knows that the highest pleasure exists in denying self and willingly bearing the cross of Christ. She forfeits earthly gratification for the eternal joy that God has set before her. She sacrifices lesser joys for infinitely greater ones. She knows and accepts that on this side of heaven Christian discipleship is a costly, uncomfortable painful and even bloody business."

Dying to oneself and denying what I want and making sacrifices, thinking about what God wants. 

Mary talks about those who have been persecuted for  their faith, beaten, tortured, and martyred. How amazingly strong their faith was! It makes me stop and think about how easy I have it, and perhaps how weak I am. Could I, would I be willing to die for  my faith?  Wow! I would hope so, but I also hope I would not have to face the circumstances.

When Mary talked about self indulgence two areas in my life came to mind right away that I need to continue to work on , and they are sleep and sweets.  This sounds kinda dumb butI could sleep all of the time, the morning is the hardest for me, so I set my alarm early, and push the snooze button, and snooze, oh how I dislike getting out of bed in the morning! It has caused my morning prayer time to lessen as I indulge in sleep........then, when I am going to bed I have a bad habit of indulging in sweets in bed most nights. I tell myself I deserve a treat. I do not think it is a horrible thing, but an indulgence that i do not need every night. Of course I have other areas, but these two plague me daily and I know that by denying myself these indulgences, and making little sacrifices would be a good thing!

Jesus said "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me" Luke 9:23 Yes, we all have big and little crosses everyday that we carry, but if we can embrace them and carry them without complaint for the greater glory of God, knowing that with his help we can get through anything and that all things are possible, what a better world it would be!

Jesus, help us to carry our crosses daily, may we become small, so that you may become big in us. May we seek you so that the true joy that you give, which is "sweeter than all pleasure" can take the place of all lesser and empty pleasures. Amen!

Entitlement - Emily

What a doozy. It's so easy to point fingers at our culture regarding this message... but what does God want to do in me in this area?

First off, I am humbled every time I read accounts of martyrs and those under persecution. We don't experience that here in the U.S. (yet) so sometimes it just doesn't feel like a part of reality. But it is real and He could ask it of me some day. Do I love Jesus that much? Part of me is real hesitant to answer and the other part wants to stand up and shout 'yes. bring it on.' I know the he loves me  and anything/everything in my life is Father-filtered. Rom 8:28

"A Girl-Gone-Wise knows that the highest pleasure exists in denying self and willingly bearing the cross of Christ." pg 197- I have certainly found this to be true. Not easy, but true. In marriage, when I lay down my selfish or 'justified' desires, God brings about great peace in His way and timing. I feel like I am good at denying myself in some areas but still need a lot of work in others. There are so many 'levels' of denying self that I'm sure He'll always be working on something in me.

{Girl-Gone-Wild} "She denies that she is vulnerable to sin or accountable to anyone else for her behavior." pg 198- Wowzers. We are VERY vulnerable to sin, and when I start thinking I've got something under control, pride slips in and I fall. I know I need to beg God for His power to work in me to resist temptation. Because His Spirit is the still small voice it can be so easy to tune out or pretend I don't hear it. And yes absolutely we are accountable to others in any stage of life. Especially now I have 4 little eyes and ears watching me but even more than that I'm accountable to my husband. Sin and junk and an entitled attitude does severely affect our relationship. So often even the 'secret sin' manifests itself in other areas of our lives.

*Thought it interesting that she lists romance novels as a form of indulgence. Never thought about that before but the more I do, the more I realize how "off" they are. I read romance novels of my mom's in middle school and they exposed me to more than I think is appropriate for that age, and paint a very false picture of what life and love and men really are.

1 Tim 5:6 "She who is self-indulgent is dead even while she lives" - the saddest part of this is that I can get so caught up in seeking to satisfy my own desires that I am completely missing what He wants to do in and through me in the moment.... and I don't even realize it. I have to pray for His contentment more than my comfort!! Sure there are a lot of ways I could be more comfortable right now, but God is doing something SO much bigger in us. No idea what, but He's called me to wait on Him - so I shall :-)

Mary wraps up with Luke 9:23 "If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself, take up his cross daily and follow me" I would say that even more than daily, this is a moment by moment thing for me. An area I am still working on, is giving God my day and allowing Him to direct it - I can get real caught up in an agenda and completely run my own show.... makes a mess.

And to end she says the 'joy of Christ is sweeter than all other pleasures' and yes yes yes it is!!! I think I'll write that on a note card for myself - His joy is so much greater than anything else I could seek. And He can give me that joy even in the midst of a hard time or difficult situation. He is SO good.

I don't know about you two, but I'm loving the confirmations of who God is as we read. Yes, I am fallen and a sinful mess most times - but the more important aspect is that my eyes are turned towards Him and I'm open to His work in me!

Lord, I pray we will seek you for all things, knowing that in your perfect timing and way you do desire to bless and reward us, not only here on earth but more importantly someday in heaven with you!!

Possession- Ann

Possessions...I know I highlighted many areas in this chapter.So many great points and little refreshing reminders.

I can say that I have gotten better in this area, as Brian and I are on a tight budget in order to finish paying off debt, and not adding debt..

By taking time to make a monthly budget and then sticking to it is not easy but it has helped us both reign in unnecessary spending and I can say that, more now than ever I am trying my best to be thankful for all of the blessings that God has given me and trying my darndest to be content and happy with what I currently have rather than buying stuff.

Along with having a strict budget to stick to I can also say that we do well in the giving department thanks to Brian, he has what calls his "giving bone" which has helped me to be more generous with our money when it comes to donating to church and other good causes. And I will say it is amazing how when you give and trust in the Lord, he does provide!

Mary points out that buying unnecessary things and being materialistic to fill a void is not wise, a wise girl understands that everything comes from God. How true this is. Although I can be do my best to be content with what I have, I do feel that I sometimes get very attached to my things.  I do forget that everything I have is a gift from God; money, family, friends, possessions, time, personal talents,  and my whole life, and when God wants me to give or give up things I must remember that nothing is truly mine, it is God's and I must be willing to do what God want's me to do with His gifts.

Sweet Jesus help us to be continuously grateful for the gifts you have bestowed on us. Help us to be good stewards of those gifts, and I also pray that we may always cling to you and not to the fleeting things of this world!