Possessions - Emily

Hmmm... possessions. I made several underlines in this chapter - lots of good little nuggets about our hearts being turned towards God in ALL things. Since I don't specifically earn an income I feel like the 'money issue' isn't as hard for me. I am 'in charge' of certain areas of spending, I can either be mindful or extravagant in those areas... and I've certainly been both. I honestly don't feel like I over-indulge in spending money on myself at all. Sure, I'd really love to go clothes shopping and get pedicures every 6 weeks, but the clothes I have are fine and I already own the polish from my cupboard. Not to say there's anything wrong with something new or some pampering, but it's important for me to make sure it's accounted for in the 'budget' and not going to be an extravagance that causes regret and stress as we near the end of the month. All that to say, I feel like I have a decent handle on the money thing....

BUT I have some serious refining to do in the way I spend my time. God has been showing me this softly over the last several weeks. I have a lot of 'loose' time in my weeks where I'm not really doing much of anything. I know that I could be using my time more efficiently and being a better model for my girls in that area. And with all the 'free time' I have there is no good reason that our house should be such a mess all the time..... again, an area I need some work on. I would have to say that my girls are a 'god' in the area of how I spend my time.... they get a lot of it. It's a balance issue.

And I know certain things are meant for certain seasons of life. I'd love to have a more 'open' home but right now that isn't the best for us.

At the beginning of the chapter Mary states "The Bible's perspective differs from the world's. Constantly buying stuff is not a trait of a woman who's smart..." And I immediately thought of 'retail therapy' and how much we can use that.... but what a better choice to use 'God therapy' by taking everything to Him in our times of stress and depending on Him for the things we need. Sometimes I am way to quick to rush out and buy something when I find out shortly after I've spent the $$ that somebody else had one they were giving away, or we didn't really need that item, or it doesn't actually work well, or hubby doesn't like it.... or any other of a slew of possibilities. I desire to get better at giving my desires to God and then listening to His Spirit to guide me.

And when Mary talks of the woman with the vase she says "The woman disregarded the vase until an expert told her the item's true worth. That's when she began to treasure it." and this made me think of my Bible, or the Bible in general. How many homes have dusty Bibles on shelves, not being valued.... but what a treasure His Word is!! It's the most important resource we have!! And He desires so much to speak to us through His Word. *Not really a possession issue, but something important that came to mind*

"In His economy, the truly rich woman is the one whose main aim in life is to serve Him as King. Her wealth lies in the currency of faith and good works, opening her hands to the poor, and reaching out her hands to the needy. She has a heavenly bank balance that no one can steal and nothing can erode." Wow - Couldn't sum it up better than that!

Of all the great thing He gives us, I pray that our deep desire would be to give back to Him as much as we possibly can; not in comparison to others, but out of a genuine love for Him!!

Possessions - Hannah

Just submitting my thoughts early, so that I'm not late again :) this week's chapter was interesting..I don't think that we throw away our money.  I would say that we don't have any needs that are not met- God has blessed us with enough to be able to have a house, cars to drive, and food to eat,etc...we try to budget so as to provide for our family and then be able to do things for others...I'd love to be able to give more money to missions and friends that are involved in missions-I have to remember that some is better than none..and God can use us in lots of ways-not just money..He can use our time, resources, money, etc..having an open and willing heart-attempting to listen to what and how He calls us to do things to further His kingdom is most important.  Anyway, this was a good reminder chapter..
Hope you are both able to stop and thank God for the things He has blessed you with- loving husbands, houses that provide warmth and protection, food to provide nourishment, etc..thoughts to be thankful for..may we also remember that God is always working in and through us-whether through money or resources..He is always working in us..So thankful for that.
Love you both..praying for you both.

Neediness - Hannah

Wow! What a chapter!  It struck a cord with me for sure....so often I expect John to fulfill or satisfy all of my needs...I put him first before God...I seek love and acceptance from him as opposed to yearning after The Lord.  I love that Mary continuously used scripture to address the direction of seeking after God- if we seek Him- He will give us the desires of our heart.  

It's like i know the right thing- but it is connecting it from my head to my heart and vice versa...trusting that if I seek genuine love and satisfaction from Him, He truly will make me feel desired and make me feel loved- a fully satisfied love.

Oh how I needed this chapter- such a great reminder...I will definitely be praying that God will continue to shake me and remind me that true satisfaction and complete love only comes when We rest in Him!

Hope you both have a great rest of the week :)

Neediness - Emily

Ladies! Love you, praying for you both..... it's been a stressful hectic 2 weeks here so I am behind. God is good though. When I prioritize what's most important, He is faithful to allow me little gaps to 'catch up'. Love Him!!!!!

So, Neediness. Been there. Oh yeah. But praise God, in His loving way, He has drawn me away from that and into a blessed place of needing Him more and more!

Hmm... I don't think I am 'needy' towards Joe but I guess he has expressed at times that he feels pressure to provide me with what I want. Like when I'm not happy he can feel at fault for that. So if I'm not resting in God's provision for me, Joe ends up feeling some of that pressure whether that's my intention of not. But over all I wouldn't say that I suffocate him in any way. (But I can always work on my verbal praise and encouragement towards him to ensure him that he's doing a good job being there for our family).

Of the things Mary lists on pg 182, two of them stood out to me that could use my attention... "She sends her roots deep into God's stream to meet her emotional needs. She does not demand emotional satisfaction from people" - Oh emotions. They are such a gift from the Lord when used appropriately but they can be SO damaging if we allow ourselves to be consumed by them. Praying for His perspective! Also "Her life is spiritually fruitful and productive, regardless of the state of her earthly relationships" - My immediate conviction here was with my tongue. When everything's good it's easy to let the Holy Spirit guide (or hold) my words..... but if something is amiss I can fly off the handle and speak things that are not glorifying to God. I desire to have a better handle in that area so as not to contradict myself in my influences toward others.

I LOVE what Mary says at the end of the chapter....

"[Her desire] is beckoning her to look past that image and reach for the reality it represents. Earthly romances are to the Cosmic One like sparkling reflections of light dancing on water are to the blazing sun. They are not the fiery light. They only reflect glimmers of it"  What powerful imagery!! Living near the water I am rather familiar with the wonderfulness of the sun glittering on the water.... and this comparison just humbles me even more at Who God is and how great and awesome and big and powerful and ... and... and... He is! His love for us is so far beyond my comprehension.

I do see this *neediness* in others sometimes and it breaks my heart. I think a good part of it can be tied in with control issues. Seeking everything from someone else but at the same time not able to trust them when they are apart from you and therefore having to have a hand in everything they do. I'm sure there are lots of ways that I need to be able to give God more control, especially in His work in others. Just trusting that He is working and the best way I can help is to pray for them.

I hope this makes some sense. I do know that I am a tangled mess without Jesus. The days when I do not set aside some time to get with Him generally end up being a disaster and if I'm out of the Word for a few days, look out!! But I know I need Him in every breath of my day! He is my Life!! I need Him!

Father, help me to keep my needs directed to you. You delight in providing for me as I lean on and trust in You for all things! May you be close with my sweet sisters here and draw our hearts more and more towards Yourself. We love you! Amen.

Neediness - Ann

Hi Friends!

Well, I thought this was an easier read than last week.

I would not say that I am not overly clingy and needy when it comes to men, however, I do not think I am truly a wise woman.....yet.

As Mary points out that "It's not that the wise woman never experiences "pressure cooker" heat in her relationships - or that she never faces a year of relational drought. But she withstands those tough times. She doesn't get fearful or anxious when they come, because her relationship with the Lord nourishes and sustains her. She doesn't rely on the cistern. "

My relationship with my hubby is not always perfect and easy however, I do not get overly concerned or anxious about it as I know God will help us get through our ups and downs. But at the same time I sometimes expect my hubby to fill up that void that only God can fill. 

Just last Sunday, I addressed Brian with his excessive computer/internet usage, as I see it, and the way I communicated probably wasn't the best, but as he went to work for the night and we had not resolved the issue, I was feeling quite distraught. I do truly think that Brian has been letting the internet suck up his life, and when he is on the computer I feel like he would rather surf the net then be with me, but at the same time when addressing the issue I was coming across as a selfish needy baby, and when Brian left for work I was left alone to cry and think. While thinking, I also realized that I have also been trying to have Brian fill up that area that God can only fill and then getting mad  at my husband for not succeeding. It's hard to explain exactly what I am trying to say, but before I had even read this chapter, while crying and pouting I thought. Wow God! Yes!  Brian has some things to work on but geeze I am being a little needy, and even if my hubby doted on me hand and foot 24/7, constantly focused on me I will not be content because I need you Lord. After this I spent some time in prayer and  I took my concerns to the God in prayer the next day too. Afterwards, I was able to clearly express my feelings to Brian. After taking my concern to God and letting Him help me work through my thoughts and feelings everything was so clear!  Lord help me to stay close to you, to trust in you, to rely on you! 

I would say that my heart sometimes feels lonely and needy, while I need to be better at nourishing my relationship with God as I do believe that only a relationship with God can meet my deepest needs.

As Psalm 42:1-2 says "As a deer pants for flowing streams, so pants my soul for you, O God. My soul thirsts for God, for the living God."

Lord thank you for always being there for us, help us to nourish and deepen our relationships with you, so that we may trust you more. 

Authenticity - Ann

Hi Ladies!

So glad we were able to meet this week for lunch!

I found this chapter to be intimidating at first as I was afraid of what I would discover about myself.....as I know I am not perfect. I will admit that I have felt two-faced during my life, and this chapter did stir up memories, of feeling like a bad person and times of feeling two-faced during my bouts of depression.

As a teenager I developed a hatred for myself that stemmed from my childhood. ( I feel like some of this could have tied into other chapters but I guess this is the chapter that I will talk about it.) Anyways...I would like to preface this by saying that  i was an extremely shy and timid child and I can honestly say that I think I was born feeling nervous : ) So now for my story, starting at about the age of 6 while at a friends house my friend and I stumbled upon her dads stash of pornography. At first it was very much curiosity  that drew us to look at these pictures, but for about the next 5 or 6 years we would  again be drawn to look at these images from time to time.....as I got older I realized this was wrong to do, however, the pictures were alluring, and I had myself thinking that I wanted to be sexy and beautiful and proactive like the ladies in the pictures. Now being from a strict religious family my conscious weighed heavy. Eventually, I pretty much just stopped hanging out with this friend. I also had a very guilty conscience. I believe that feeling guilty is healthy, and good, however I had an unhealthy feeling of guilt and for years I thought I was a very horrible person. I thought my parents would kill me if they knew that Ann their beloved innocent daughter had looked at porn, so I kept my secret to myself. Now, I totally believe that we have a loving a forgiving merciful God, but I could not get it through my head that God could forgive me for being such an impure person. During this time I felt very two-faced and the voices in my head told me I was a horrible bad person. I felt like there was no hope for me. I believe when I was about 15 I finally talked things through with my parents. Before it was all said and done I went through horrible times of depression, and times of severe anxiety, I lost a bunch of weight and for a time was not able to sleep, eat or concentrate.

In the end I went  to counseling and took medication for a time to help me deal with things. And let me just say that it was only by the grace of God did I not attempt suicide or start doing drugs,  or  turn to alcohol as I was in a very dark place, and saw no point to living.

As the years have gone by I have dealt with depression off and on and I will say I  think I am such a hypocrite sometimes when I am having  one of those days where, on the inside I feel like I am in a deep dark hole, feeling like their is no point to my life but on the outside I am happy positive Ann with a smile on my face, afraid of what someone might think if they knew I was depressed.

Mary points out that a girl gone wise is genuine - her outside matches her inside. I will say that I have areas to work on here.

Mary listed the 7 signs of Hypocrisy:

1. Contradiction - a pretender who honors the Lord with her lips but her heart is far from Him

I am a regular church goer, I pray and read my Bible daily, and I enjoy reading this book with you ladies so that I can be become a better person, but I do not always live my life as I should.

2. Self-Indulgence - constantly ask the Lord for things but they ask for the wrong things to indulge their worldly passion. They have the wrong perspective about God. They question whether He really has their best interests at heart. I know I struggle with this in respect to my infertility. 

I will admit that I have been angry at God for not giving me what I want right now, like I know what is best for me, like know more that God. Yes, I need to learn how to fully trust him and his plans

3. Focus on externals - do all their deeds to be seen by others - very concerned about outward appearances, how they look to others and what people think about them. 

I do enjoy when people think I am good, and I definitely worry too much about what others think about me

4. Partial obedience - Selective about which parts of the scripture to obey

Some commandments and teachings are definitely easier for me to follow than others.

5. Rationalization - justifying two faced behavior - I am guilty of this too.

6. Contempt - looking down on others. They see the speck in another's eye but fail to notice the log in their own. 

I am definitely hard on myself, but I do find it easy to see other people's shortcomings and sins.

7. Chameleon - Like Conduct  - change color depending on which environment they are in.

 I have been working on this, but I will say that I like to be liked, so I will tend to do and say things in different situations so that I will be liked.

I definitely have things to work on, but as Mary says at the end of the chapter "The problem is not when we fight against hypocrisy in or lives but when we don't." We need to get closer and closer to God and repent of our sins. Yes, there is always hope!

Thank you Lord for your forgiveness love and mercy! Help us to be true authentic Godly women! Draw us nearer to you!

Authenticity - Emily

What an excellent chapter! This one really gets at the core of things. Mary writes to uncover our true motives and agendas. Ouch. Love it!

Sadly, I have been 100% two-faced in seasons of my life. I am grieved to look back on those times but also drawn to praise Him even more for his redemptive work in my life. He is oh so good to us. Such a patient and loving God. I'm still such a piece of work most days :-) but a quote that a friend of mine shared with me goes something like "less important than the degree of victory is the direction we are going". Thus keeping in mind that when I fail and run to Him (instead of away) that's progress. He can work with that.

I did take the time to look up several of the scriptures that she references and found that to be helpful and insightful. Sometimes it's too easy to read through the Bible and skim over the great implications and meanings in God's Word. 2 Tim 3:1-4 really stood out to me. " But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God...." God already knows the self-destructive way we are headed as people, so He calls us to be on guard for those things!

Luke 12:2 is a wonderful verse! "There is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known" If we know we are harboring some secret sin this can be a scary one - but how loving is God that he will not allow us to do that?! He wants to expose what's really inside so that we can confess it and draw closer to him. *Our pastors wife made the comments that we should be thankful that we aren't celebrities when God reveals junk in us. For us He can do it intimately, their junk gets spread all over the tabloids :-(

I would honestly have to say that I probably still act in some of each of the areas of hypocrisy that Mary points out. I'd like to say I don't (maybe not a blatantly as before) but that'd be a lie. Some days I am just plain amazed at how selfish I can be, how much I still have myself on the throne all day. Praise God that He won't leave me here but little by little He is making me new every day.

Lord fill us afresh with you each new day! Help us to be genuine. To desire your kind of true authenticity in our walk! Thank you Lord that you want to expose the sin in us, you're continually calling us closer to you if we will only listen and yield our lives to you.